An Update, Eh?

So, people want me to update. Okay. I can update. Let's see. Um....

Since you're begging for details on my social life, last week two girls got my roommate and I to come watch "A Walk To Remember" with them. That's about it right now. Last week=evil. Much staying up late, getting up late, missing classes, frustrating work, and general insanity.

While you're still here and I'm still bugging you, I'd just like to point out that I now have a silicone wristband that says "DATESTRONG".... You can be sure I won't actually wear it, but I have it. You see, there was a big meeting for essentially everyone in Deseret Towers yesterday, and they're trying to get us to date more. In general terms, it went something like this: A) Dating is the best way to prepare yourself for adult responsibilities, and if you're not dating, you're clinging to a fifteen-year-old mentality. B) If you're not dating, you're making girls cry.

Anyway. I declare myself a menace to society.

~Paul

To Quote My Textbook

前田さん
日本は、 先週から毎日雨です。 ロンドンわどうですか。
今、 大学にイギリス人の学生が五人来ています。 今年からのプロゲラムで、
一年日本にいます。 日本からも来年からは毎年学生が行くんですよ。 イギリス
には前に行きましたけど、 一週間だけだったから、 このプロゲラムでまた行き
たいと思っています。 前田さんはロンドンに何年までいますか。 そちらで会い
たいですね。
。
。
。
では、 さようなら。

六月二十八日

今田みち子

I hope that shows up correctly. It probably won't.

~Paul

It's the end of the world! (as we know it)

Today, I had occasion to search through that song, get to the chorus, pull my headphones out of the stereo, and then blast it. It was a bit too subtle for my roommate, as he doesn't know me as well as you people persons, but I bet you two would have been giggling insanely.

You see, today I went on a date. This is a change from my previous policy, in case you haven't noticed. You can die laughing now, Emmett. (I assume, at least, that it will kill you, if you're still sick. Get better onegai shimasu!) This is a direct continuation of the "social debut" (as my roommie calls it...good phrase, good phrase) that you said would be interesting to watch, so you better be able to draw some sociological observation from this.

It was a group date thingy, crazy bowling methods and dinner and such and et cetera. Once I was semi-amenable to the idea, my roommate called up the girl he's trying to set me up with and the conversation went something like this:

"So, I have a question. Word on the street is that you broke up awhile ago. Is that true? Oh, is it? Well, word on the street is also that you want to go to the date tonight. Really. Word on the street also has it that you don't have a date yet. Is that right? Hang on for a minute."

At this point, he hands me the phone and says, "Do or die."

I would like to declare that it is VERY hard for two people to roll a single bowling ball with four hands and actually make it go straight. The results of bowling while blindfolded and lined up by your date are also interesting (especially for the people in the next lane over) but that's a different story (that, surprisingly, doesn't involve me in embarrassing situations, I might add).

One hilarious (to me) detail about group dates approaching a set of 'airlock' doors is that the guy in the foremost pair gets the door and stays there to hold it for everybody. The guy in the second couple runs ahead to get to the second set of doors before the girl in the first couple has to sully her fair hands with a door handle, and someone in the back shouts something like "Nice save!" Every single time. It cannot be done without commentary on how well-done the save was.

Overall, it went well. The girl I went with had fun and praised me for getting her chair for her, I had fun and had the blissful privilege of getting my date's chair for her. We both enjoyed the company, and tended to walk a bit ahead of the rest of the group so we could talk while in transit.

(by the way, huge campuses with everything you would bother to think of without needing to drive are awesome...heck, we can go see movies if we want to! We can go see Italian and German and Japanese movies if we want to! International Cinema ROXORZ!)

My roommate says he has a list of ideas for dates... so I think I'll probably be going on more of these. Unless something REALLY weird happens, I won't be soloing or trying to get a girlfriend at this point in life, but you know. Sometimes weird things happen, sometimes they don't.

Yeah, see y'all later, and have fun chortling about my latest predicament!

~Paul

*kaboom!*

There's a good chance you missed my previous post, "*cracks knuckles*," so go back and look at it first.

Anyway, this evening I managed to blow my status as a social nonentity. It all started when I was put in charge of a Sunday-evening meeting with the entire ward in attendance, which amounts to about 180 people. This is a recurring meeting, so people will have to look at me every other week. Now, the ramifications of this wouldn't be so large if I managed to be boring. People would, instead of not knowing that I exist, be aware that I'm some guy who gets up every other week and drones. No. I managed to be funny. I managed to make people laugh. A lot. My spies in the crowd reported that they heard things like "who is that guy?" and all manner of pleasantly surprised gunk. To make things worse, the pair who was set up to do roommate spotlight had to jack out, so I had to bring my rooommate up and we got to tell tell the audience about each other.

Now, Shane, my roommie, is quite possibly the studliest and most popular guy in the ward. And I had good dirt on him. No, they're not going to forget me.

I had two girls come up and give me hugs and congratulate me. People said this is the most they've ever heard me talk, even the people who already knew me, and that I'm hilarious.

Therefore, the ramifications of this are set up to be quite large, in that not only will people think, "Oh, Paul, I think I know who that is" or "Paul, isn't he Shane's roommate?" but "Oh, Paul, he's awesome!" or something to that effect. From now on, if I want to remain an absolute recluse, I will have to make an effort to avoid people. If I go to the other end and make an effort to be social, I might get a few more friends and a few activity invites. Either way, if I consistently do this meeting, and I will, I'll be shifting social niches in some way.

I suspect a conspiracy.

~Paul

*cracks knuckles*

Okay, so I wanted to write this up a long time ago, but, well, then I blew up. So, I'll do it now.

To start, I'd like to say that being a bodyguard is really fun.

You see, I was sitting in my room, likely with my headphones and singing along with whatever music was going (which can be disturbing if the soloist is a soprano, as y'all well know). Shane, my roommate, was on the phone with a girl we know. She was telling him about her ex-boyfriend who is, in my not so humble opinion, a total jerk, and pretty much everyone who saw them together for awhile agreed. He tolerated most of her friends, but would tell her not to bring this one girl along whenever there was a group going somewhere because "she's loud." He was frequently verbally abusive of his girlfriend, attacking her intelligence and ability to graduate, among other things. He had a great penchant for poking her, and not lightly or once, constantly and hard enough to inflict pain.

Oh yes, and there's the time he stole her computer.

Needless to say, it didn't last long.

Well, before Shane was talking to this girl, her ex-boyfriend called and wanted to meet with her, supposedly to give her some money for the computer he took and retained. Now, she was fairly scared of his guy, and didn't want to meet him alone. She was thinking of bringing two friends along. Shane offered to go with her, and when I asked what was up after he got off, I volunteered too. When we were getting in the elevator down, we saw another guy on the floor and he wanted to come too.

So, the plan was to go there ahead of the meeting, spread out, pick our spots and read something while surreptitiously making sure nothing got out of hand. Well, that's not quite how it worked out. The guy was already there and trying to lord over her and her two friends when we got there; fortunately, he couldn't do much besides be a jerk since she had her friends.

It was supremely satisfying to file in, go up to the girls, and warmly and heartily greet them while throwing not especially friendly glances at the ex. He shoved the money at her and got out of there immediately, because now he couldn't even be a jerk.

Now, he may have had some idea of restitution in mind when he called her, but I doubt it. First, he wasn't acting penitent when I showed up. He was pretty much taunting her with the money. Second, the amount he gave her was a complete rip off for any functioning computer, let alone the fairly nice one he stole. Third, if he wanted restitution, he should just give the computer back.

Anyway, the girls said we were awesome and invited us to lunch the next day, and I was able to discover the joys of minor strongarming. Booyah.

~Paul