What Really Happens In Japanese Class

Sensei: Ohayo! (good morning, polite)
Students: Ohayo gozaimasu! (good morning, more polite)
Sensei: Kinoo kyookasho yomimasita? (Did you read your textbook yesterday?)
Students: *blank stares*
Sensei: .... Wakarimasen desita, nee. (You didn't understand, did you.)
Students: *blank stares*
Sensei: *bangs head on wall repeatedly*
Students: *pronounced with crippling American accent* Sumimasen...? (We're sorry....?)
Sensei: ...Itai. (Ow.)

Okay, so the first-year Japanese students aren't as inept as that. In fact, it seems that half my classmates took Japanese courses in high school and able to talk circles around me. This isn't surprising, as there are times when I can barely speak English. All the people who are true first-years, however, do seem lost now and then.

The freaky thing, though, is that when I'm dealing with the poeple in my Japanese class, in or out of the classroom, the laws of physics alter. The very fundamental laws of the universe shift! Possibilities are entirely dependent on arbitrary systems, called plots, which may or may not shift at any given time. The matter of the universe changes its intrinsic identity until everything looks completely different. When I'm around my Japanese classmates, I leave this reality and step into an Anime!

Apart from the whole ignoring of physical impossibilities, like robots, super martial artists, magic, and all sorts of things like that, anime isn't that different from reality--at least, not much more than our own television shows are. And let's admit it: we've all felt like we were in a scripted plot at times. There are certain characters in anime and manga that you usually won't find in other mediums, though.... So, if I'm having one of those "I'm In a Really Bad Fanfiction" moments, and one of my classmates is acting like the super-hyper/happy-weird schoolgirl any good anime school drama has (they usually have several dozen, in fact), I'm going to feel like I'm in a Really Bad Anime Fanfiction.

It's Not A Happy Feeling.

I always knew I'd only seen a small fraction of anime, but it took my classmates to make me feel so utterly lost concerning anime. The people who take Japanese are usually die hard fans. And some of these people are acting like the characters. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SUPER-HYPER/HAPPY-WEIRD SCHOOLGIRL ANIME CHARACTER. I DON'T HAVE THE TRAINING.

If you want to take Japanese, absorb lots of anime, or you won't know how to deal with these people. If, however, you value sanity, or at least your form of it, DON'T TAKE JAPANESE.

~Paul