I feel like I've been undergoing a very strange transformation over the past year or so. It's reached critical levels in the past couple of months, but it's been building over time. Me undergoing this particular change is one of the signs of the apocalypse, if I remember correctly. Removing this aspect of me is as significant as removing the fruit from a fruit basket, or a basket case, as may be a better description of me, even if it does make the analogy a bit weird.
I'm a gamer, of sorts. I'm usually behind on the immediately current trends, as I don't buy a constant supply of new games and consoles, so my game collection tends to be a bit old. In fact, I tend toward the really old games, though not Pong old. How many people my age can say they've beaten Bubble Bobble, or Kirby's Adventure--for the original NES, not the remakes and sequels? How many gamers my age have actually played the original Final Fantasy, or Dune2, or Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, or Prince of Persia, or Scorched Earth, or Out of This World, or Dungeon Master, or Castles 2, or the ultimate RPG of its day, Betrayal at Krondor? How many even know what most of this stuff is? I'm not just enthusiastic about this stuff; I'm obsessed with it.
And I've been steadily losing interest. I download old abandonware, I play for awhile, and I delete it before I even get close to finishing. I run across a promising-looking multiplayer online role playing game, and I play for a few hours, and never go back to it. I bring out Final Fantasy 7 and 8 and don't get past the first disc on either one. I pull out my Warcraft 2 CDs, play the first five or so missions, and take it off. Normally, I would try to install Warcraft 1 first, and only give up when it convinces me that it doesn't run on Windows XP without all sorts of tweaks and tricks. Most recently, I usually don't even try to start games when I get the urge, because I know I'll become supremely dissatisfied with the game almost immediately and quit. I just play a game of Freecell, maybe I'll branch back out into Minesweeper and Pinball soon, and that's plenty of gamage for me.
The only aspect of video games that have interested me much at all lately is the social aspect--that is, if people I'm with want to play, sure, group activities are fun. But if you give me a game and see how long it takes me finish it on my own, you'll be waiting awhile. I didn't even bring any of my games to college. I didn't want them, didn't need them. Even after being separated so long that I would normally get withdrawals, I'm still not clamoring for them. I might log onto Runescape for a few minutes once in awhile, but I usually find something more interesting to do in short order.
I've known for a long time that video games are generally worthless. That fact, though, has more weight with me now. A few consuming obsessions are necessary. That has been my experience, at least. It just seems I could make my selections more wisely. It also seems that a contemplative mind can remain seriously attached to video games for so long before either atrophying or moving on out of disgust; a mind that thinks can only take so much numbing dungeon/installation crawling before needing something healthier.
I don't even feel the same attachment to 1337 anymore! I was surfing around on the net, ran into a page with a poem written entirely in the 1337, and felt an impending headache! I'll still enjoy using 'uber,' as it's so ingrained, I have German training, and it's a running joke with a certain friend who knows exactly who she is. Leetspeak, though, is getting tedious and painful.
So, to translate the title of this post, "I'm Losing My Leetness."
I won't miss it.
~Paul
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6 comments:
good job paul! *high five* I personally went throught the same thing around the beggining of high school. *except for the writing in 1337* Video games are only so interesting for so long. anyway, glad to see another addict come off the road healthy.
I haven't been into games as much anymore also. I was virtually off them until Thomas and Kevin started with LOTR. I got the game, obsessed for a few weeks, tinkered around every once in a while, then simmered out finally. I haven't played games since you were last here. All though, I was thinking of trying to get my Populous demo out again. It would probably take me two hours to get bored, though, and uninstall it again. I sure enjoy the social aspect of games, though.
You're right about us having to focus a lot of attention, even obsess, over something. I guess my focus has changed, and I'm not sure that's a sign of maturing or if its just shedding old ways like a snake sheds its skin. Perhaps it's both. The point is, I don't know what brings these things on, but I'm glad I have a focus now, or else I'd go crazy.
I've noticed that I've started watching tv less since I've come to college. I must admit that I had kind of been off video games for a while before that, but it seems like it should be strange to not be watching an hour of tv a day. But it's not. Of course, I now spend my time screwing around in other ways. But it's not tv or video games.
I've beaten Kirby's Adventure, by the way.
You know what's scary...with the interpretation of your title, I realize I can actually read that...oiy.
stay frosty!
Looks like your gamer ability will increase as mine decreases. Excellent.
Hey, I was reading a comic the other day, and it had to do with this very subject. It was a spelling bee, the word was elite, and the guy spelled it 1337. It made me giggle.
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