I'm Home

:)

What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?

You know, there are studies that seem to indicate fatigue by lack of sleep can be just as deadly as alcoholic intoxication on the road. Awareness and reaction time drop quite a bit in both cases. So, if being chronically sleep deprived is the same as being drunk, what are all us poor college students to do? I think everyone of you would agree with me when I say that fatigue is intrinsic to being a college student. All college students are tired. It's just the way it works. So we're essentially taking our finals while drunk! And how many people have such a remarkable metabolism that they can down twenty ounces of vodka, take an academic test, and do as well as they normally would? Since all students are performing seriously crippled when they go in to take their tests, the entire system of finals is broken because it's misrepresenting our actual skill levels. It would actually be better as a test of our fortitude than anything. Therefore, I propose that the only students who have to take finals are the physical education majors.

Hey, works for me, and it's got quasi-logic to back it up. ^_^

~Paul

*Pulls Out Death Ray*

Any more essays want some of this?
...
Good.
*Puts Death Ray Back In Hammerspace*

Hey, everyone. Just thought I'd drop an update to let you all know how freaking HAPPPY I am that Wednesday has ended. That was the due date for all four of my English essays, my apology in Humanities, my reading log stuff in Book of Mormon, and generally the end of everything. Except finals. And now, I actually have some free time! I looked at webcomics and fanfiction! I got SLEEP! I was getting really good at not sleeping at all on a given night, and it feels so good to not have to do that anymore. Woot.

Finals are actually not going to be very stressful for me, except for Japanese. I already passed physical science awhile ago, I'm doing an alternate assignment in Book of Mormon, the English final doesn't count for many points, and the humanities final is optional. Japanese will likely eviscerate me, but otherwise, all is mostly well. *grin&thumpup*

And by the way Batman Begins is better than the original Batman. Just so you know.

~Paul

The All-Important

*Scene: News Broadcast Studio*
*cool intro music: "It's Just You" by LMNT*
Paul: Welcome back to PINS, Paul's Internal News Service broadcasting. Following the exciting news release earlier today, we were able to get the stars of the day--Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable--to come in for an interview! How are you two feeling today?
Kim: Great, Paul, and I'm glad to be here!
Ron: Bondiggity. I mean, I'm on TV!
Paul: Uh, actually, Ron, we'll only be able to put up the transcript of this interview. Our communications department has some difficulty getting picture to the outside world.
Ron: ...but people will read it, right?
Paul: Yeah.
Ron: Cool, I'm on TV!
Kim: Um...yeah, Ron. You're on TV.
Paul: Anyway, I'm sure you two must be thrilled about this recent development. Any thoughts?
Kim: Yes, I am thrilled here, Paul! I mean, what Ron and I do has always been really important to us, and we're both really happy that we'll be able to continue. You got anything, Ron?
Ron: Yes, Kim, I do. I just want to thank all the little people--Hego, for finally ceasing his attempts to kill the Naco, Ned, for fighting the appointment of a spokesclown, Lars for FINALLY getting OUT of Bueno Nacho, and Drakken for getting the most beautiful chain food store ever made a whole bunch of press before KP and me put him in jail again. I'm very pleased with the court's handling of Drakken's confiscated property, Bueno Nacho being the foremost, and that it is now in the hands of a very capable owner and CEO. *sips water*
Kim: Um, Ron? We're not talking about Bueno Nacho here.
Ron: Wha--? We're not? But nothin' else happened...I think....
Paul: Ron, Kim Possible was renewed for a fourth season.
Ron: They--fourth season--BOOYAH! OH MY FREAKING--BOOYAH! WHAT UP NOW, EISNER? A BOO--A BOO--A BOOYAH!
Kim: Ron, stop break dancing on the table!
Ron: *leaps off table, grabs Kim and starts swing dancing* FOURTH SEASON FOURTH SEASON!!!
Kim: Ron...Leggo, Ron!
Ron: *lets go of Kim, slinging her onto her chair* I gotta tell Rufus! Rufus, wake up, buddy, wake up!
Rufus: *yawn*
Ron: Dude, we got a fourth season of KP going! We're back in business!
Rufus: Fourth? Yeahyeahyeah! Booyah!
Ron: This demands a party! Rufus and me'll get the snackage!
Rufus: Cheese!
Ron: Yeah, cheese, and mini corndogs, and slurpsters--
Rufus: King size!
Ron: --and pizza and nachos and nacos and tacos and... We have to hurry, Rufus! Party, here, twenty minutes! *sprints offscreen with Rufus to get food*
Paul: Well, he seems pretty psyched.
Kim: Yeah, that's Ron for you... he'll calm down in awhile, I promise.
Paul: He's on to something here, actually. He's getting snackage, but we're gonna need music. And more people. And more snackage. Snackage is important.
Kim: Okay, sure. You get music, I'll get Monique, Felix, Brikk, Malcolm, the Tweebs, Wade, everyone. Except Bonnie. Twenty minutes?
Paul: Twenty minutes.
*both sprint offscreen, cut to commercials*

Today Is Gonna Bite

I did it again! It is 7:17 AM! I have gone yet another night without sleep!
I don't recommend it. I will either be semi-conscious all day, or fall asleep after deciding to lay myself down for a few minutes.
It isn't like I just stare at the computer all night, either. That is a factor for a (great) while, but eventually it turns more into a tossing/turning/can't stop thinking about stuff issue. I do not recommend that, either.
Goals for today: write my critical analysis for Humanities 101, write the first draft of my critical analysis for English. Possibly have part of the first draft of my personal narrative, also for my English class. Also, don't fall asleep.

~Paul

I Like BYU Computers Better

Although these Weber ones aren't too bad. I mean, they don't have a cool background when they start up...actually, neither do BYU computers. BORING. $I 2 I like our monitors better at BYU. 42. You have anything to say, Maren?

"Yes, thanks. I like our computers better than BYU's! 'Course, I've never used one, but who carez!?"

Thank you for the commentary, Maren. In other news, Child and Family Development classes are interesting. I like Maren's teacher.
In OTHER news, let's try a poetry jam.

Black skies turn to azure blue
and take away my headache
and clean the whiteboard of my soul
just because I took a nap

This is Bob Evans, signing off.

~Robert Paris

To Whom It May Concern

As you know, Paul hasn't posted in awhile, and he probably won't for some time either. So, he's asked me to get on here and at least apologize for him. He's been feeling really messed up lately, and I don't think the amount of time he spends thinking about me and my story helps his mental health much. It gets even worse when he can't actually write it down, even though he has a wordcount to reach.
I'm not really sure how much I should tell you...but you're Paul's friends, so I guess it's okay. He's letting his sleeping patterns get really bad again, he's pretty worried about his English papers, he feels completely cut off from the other guys on his floor, and he feels guilty about not doing as well as he should writing my story up. I think there's more, but that's all he'll tell me. So, ah... he's just really exhausted right now. And sick. Give him awhile to figure out what he's doing and he'll be back to normal.
I have to leave now--my sister Lily wants me to take her to dinner. I'll be posting for Paul again in awhile, so I'll see you then.

--Kieran